This past Black Friday, I bought into the hype.
Armed with my latest paycheck, I stormed into Best Buy and fought the crowds for the latest deals and “must haves”. This year – despite the fact that I had previously tried this experiment in the past with poor results – I got it into my head that I was going to buy an iPad Pro 10.5 (with the Apple Pencil) and use that as a laptop replacement. I described to my friends with vivid excitement how I was going to studiously take notes in my textbooks, read at least 50 books next year, and use the “one app at a time” erm, feature, to finally reach new levels of productivity.
Needless to say, I was not acting very rationally or authentically that day.
I knew that in the past, similar experiments ended very poorly. It’s the reason why I have owned at least 10 tablets in my lifetime – and those are just the ones I can remember! I knew that my study style does not involve taking notes in the margins (I prefer to type them in a separate document). I knew that I was most productive when I could have several windows open, rapidly switching between them as necessary and utilizing the berth of keyboard shortcuts from my banking days.
Despite knowing better, why did I succumb?
I think this is a common trend in my life story, and one of the biggest reasons why I have such trouble making decisions. I get extremely caught up in the “shoulds” and “coulds” of the situation instead of carefully assessing what I need, deep down. I listen to what society dictates as important (e.g. looking studious, being productive) instead of focusing on my own strengths and nourishment.
Not only was I concerned with how others would think, but I poured my self worth into this silly electronic device that cost way more that I wanted to spend! I had spent countless hours obsessing over purchasing it, several hours turning it over in my hands when I got home and unboxed it, and even more hours agonizing about whether I had made the correct decision in purchasing it.
Trust me – if you are awake at 5am and spent the past 6 hours anxiously looking back and forth between your new iPad and your trusty laptop (that has never offended you in any way)….. most likely you have not made the correct decision.
I’m returning to Best Buy tomorrow to return the iPad, the Pencil, and the fancy case I purchased for it. In return, I’m going to pick up a $30 Kindle for reading books (something that I do want to do more of), and then take my trusty laptop to the cafe to get some real work done.